Abe, your reflexes are shot!

I'm in the middle of my layover at Heathrow and taking advantage of high speed internet while I can. This trip takes forever. I was something like 6 hours early to my flight out of O'Hare last night (this morning? yesterday? did I sleep on the plane? where am I?). I come from a family of cautious travelers. For the most part this has allowed me to front-load my stress in the past, but occasionally it leads to sitting in front of a Wendy’s eating yogurt flavored with aspartame. This is not my favorite thing.

British Airways has super-snazzy on-demand style entertainment with personal screens, which allowed me to fall asleep to your favorite movie and mine, Made of Honor. Though I only made it halfway through before I turned the screen off in disgust, I was paying far more attention (like, any at all) than the last time I saw it. Did you know Patrick Dempsey could juggle expensive plates? This is important, because it give us something with which to distract our eyes from his horrible, tiny face. More entertaining was a seemingly endless program which seemed to be audio of a man-on-the-street style interview of two british women about the ocean(?) which was delivered by two large claymation seals sitting on an iceberg. They talked for a while about the bends, which is probably the best un-fun thing about scuba diving. All this was punctuated by conversation with my neighbor, who told (slurred at?) me all about his job designing software for renewable energy technology after drinking quite a bit of rum and bordeaux during the first two hours of the flight. Have I mentioned how much I love flying? I suspect it is because I am deeply lazy.

I sat down at this coffee shop just in time to overhear a very tan and very wavyblonde brit dude say to his friend, "Well, you know how I'm all about California as the center of all energy." Those of you who have lived in California please weigh in on this. As you ponder, I'm going to try to orient myself in space and time.